I got fired today.
Now, if I were to work for just one company and didn’t have other jobs to fall back on, this would clearly be more disastrous, but still.
I got fired. And it makes me feel vulnerable to say that on the Internet, but I did. Officially I’ve been “dismissed with immediate effect” but we’re too old to bullshit about these things aren’t we. I was fired.
I can’t go into details about what job and what company and all that because as much as I’d love to put that on blast, it’s not ethical and it’s not really what this post is about anyway.
It’s not the first time this has happened. I mean that sounds like I get fired all the time, it’s not that I swear. But jobs change or get cancelled at the last minute, and if I’m being honest yes, I’ve been dismissed from jobs before. There’s been times that I’ve not gelled with a team or a manager and if I’m being totally blunt, sometimes my face just doesn’t fit. There have been times that I’ve been pre-judged or stereotyped or passive aggressively forced into leaving because people just don’t want me there.
This was one of those times. And it hurt.
It always hurts. I won’t lie. I cried as I left the place.
Not because I was upset about leaving the job. Gigs like that are ten a penny and having been freelance for this long, I know the work always comes back. No, I was upset at the injustice. Because I’d worked really hard today day. I’d had appreciation from people, and I was relatively enjoying it.
And then some dickhead came along and wrecked it.
But you know what, I’m okay. Honestly, I am. When I burst into tears (NOT in front of the person who dismissed me, for which I’m very proud of thank you very much), another manager was very kind and understanding. She said she was sorry that I’d had to experience this (not that it was her fault or anything) but it’s what she said after that got me. She said:
“I’m a strong believer that things happen for a reason. We might not know why things happen at the time, but afterwards it makes sense. Something better is coming, I believe that.”
I barely know this woman from Adam, but she’s right. This happened for a reason, I believe that. Maybe it’s because my next gig is gonna pay me a million pounds a minute, or maybe it’s because I was meant to sit here and write this all down for you to read. But this was meant to happen, I believe that down to my core.
I wasn’t always this way. A few years ago this would have knocked me for days, weeks even. But I think with age you do realise that things always come back around. Life doesn’t run in straight lines, and things change out of the blue. But you and I my sistas, we are strong ass motherfucker bitches, and despite being knocked sideways, we can deal with this. THIS, babes, is a minor.
Mom’s made curry chicken (can I get an Amen), so I’m gonna go eat that now. Then I’m gonna paint my nails, and maybe eat some ice-cream whilst they dry. I’m not even upset anymore. Because I know that this doesn’t define me. My life is still how it was. We’re still cracking jokes on family WhatsApp, my car still drove me home even though I parked in a rough ass area ’cause it was free (another Amen), and tomorrow the world will keep turning. I’m okay, and you’re okay, and everything is okay.
Tomorrow, we’ll start again.